What to Say When Someone Keeps Giving Unsolicited Relationship Advice
By Maya Brooks · Updated 2026-09-21 · 4 min read
Quick answer
Thank + redirect. Try: “Thanks for looking out for me — I’m not taking advice on this right now, I’m figuring it out with my partner. If I want a sounding board, I’ll ask. I appreciate you though.”
Three scripts you can copy
Pick the one that sounds most like you. Change a word if you need to, then send it.
“Thanks for caring about me — I’m not taking advice on this right now. I’m working it out with my partner.”
“I know you’re trying to help and I feel a little overwhelmed with advice. Could we talk about something else?”
“haha my love life is officially closed for public comments — but I’ll take snack recommendations any day.”
What not to say
- “You have no right to comment on my relationship.”
- Taking their advice to make them stop, then resenting it.
- A detailed defense of your partner to win them over.
- “Mind your own business.” — true, but burns bridges.
Why this works
Most unsolicited advice is care with bad delivery. Thanking the care and closing the topic respects both.
I got a lot of “you should…” after a rough month in Seattle. Saying “I’m not taking advice on this right now” from my kitchen felt scary and then incredibly freeing.
Offering a redirect — snack recommendations, work chat — gives them another way to connect.
If he gets defensive when you set a boundary, use this script.
FAQ
What if it’s family?
Family advice feels heavier. Short, warm, repeat: “Not taking advice on this right now, love you though.”
What if they’re right?
They might be. You still get to decide when and how you hear it. Advice you didn’t ask for rarely lands anyway.
What if they keep pushing?
Repeat the same line. Don’t add new reasons — new reasons invite new debate.